Brother and Sister

Jack's mother ran into the bedroom when she heard him scream and found his two-year old sister pulling his hair. She gently released the little girl's grip and said comfortingly to Jack, "There, there. She didn't mean it. She doesn't know that hurts."

She was barely out of the room when the little girl screamed. Rushing back in, she asked, "What happened?"

"She knows now," Jack replied.

Slif Op The Tongue

My dad had an accountant who every time the company had to package plans to send to a client would ask the messenger to " Fack it up well, okay?" While shopping at SM Megamall, a saleslady was helping me choose an appropriate gift to buy and I happened to be looking at a nice nightdress. The saleslady said, " Fair yan." Puzzled, I asked, " Fair?" And she replied, " Oo, they come in fairs!" A Filipino was arrested in San Francisco for illegal parking. He was incensed. He said to the police, " Why you give me a facking ticket? I only facked here por payb minutes!" In response to the question, " How often do you smoke?", the Filipino answered, " Two facks a day."

Dying of AIDS

Son takes his father to the doctor. Doctor gives them the bad news that the father is dying of cancer. Father tells the son that he has had a good long life and wants to stop at the bar on the way home to celebrate it.

While at the bar, the father sees several of his friends. He tells them that he is dying of AIDS.

When the friends leave the son asks, "Dad, you are dying of cancer. Why did you tell them that you are dying of AIDS?"

The father replies, "I don't want them fucking your mother after I'm gone!"